Thought I would write a little bit on a report done by Scope this week regarding attitudes towards disabled people. I also wanted to comment on my own views on radio interview I done for Radio 5 Live on Thursday morning. I am not 100 percent sure that I am helping matters with writing this. I get so much negative response from people regarding my own views on how I get treated, as a disabled person am I only fuelling the topic?

I was trying to think this morning just when did my disability become a problem?  I was born with Cerebral Palsy so the challenges I have faced as a child and growing up as made me the person I am now. Its only really recently that these impairments have become a problem for others to accept. I have had issues in the pass with employment but it has never come to the extent that I have been told that I am not wanted within the work place. Most pass employers have always been very accepting on my disability and found it has been a benefit to my work. 

I have always done what has been asked of me. I have never used my disability to say that I can’t do anything. I will always give things a try, sometimes they don’t work out but until recently people have always been pleased I given it a try. Now when I try anything I just get abused and get told that I am stupid and get laughed at, worse still I get told off from work for even trying.  This has knocked my confidence to go out and now I am very nervous trying new things. I also am getting nervous trying things that I know that in the pass that I have been able to do. 

For example I used to enjoy going into London the buzz of so many people going on with their daily business used to give me a sense of excitement. I was able to just go on with my daily tasks either within work or social events when going into London and not to worry about that I am inconveniencing anyone else. Now it’s just an onslaught off attacks and target of abuse. This can be anything from being quested why am I parking in a disabled parking bay and being looked at and people checking to see if I get a wheelchair or walking sticks out the back of my car. To being looked at in funny way for asking for a seat on a bus. The times that I have found this hardest is when I get told to wait for next bus or train as there just isn’t room or someone doesn’t want to give up their seat for me. On top of all this I have a hearing loss and holding a conversation with someone is very hard. People are not very patient with me and will often not look at me when talking to me.  I was told off the other day for jumping the queue, when I explained I was disabled and standing in queue is hard for me plus I have a hearing loss so it’s difficult for me to know who is calling for next customer .I got told that is no excuse to jump the queue and if I can’t stand for long time then I should be in a wheelchair so people would know I am disabled. I find that my wheelchair can be more disabling as I need to keep moving or I will seize up and quickly lose the ability to walk. I also find with the shops being so busy people do not get out the way for me and shopping takes 5 times longer as I have to wait for everyone else to finish before I can get pass if I am in my wheelchair. 

Not being the time to complete tasks is my number one issue within work at the moment.  Going back to the topic of getting into London I have been asked to attend a meeting in north London. I have been asked to attend the meeting starting at 9:30 which means I need to really plan to get their for around 9:00. I have tried to do this on a Tube before and it’s been next to impossible leaving me in so much pain the next day I had to take a day off work. I also then got told off for this, as I was then unable to carry on with my daily tasks. I have tried to get into London by car but this takes so long it means it becomes a very long day for me and I have the added pressure that I need to remain safe within the car and aware of other road users. Another additional problem is my employer has said they will not allow me to go into London unless I take other people from work in the car that means I have to start even earlier. The whole attitude that my disability is causing them a problem just makes me want to take the day off sick so I don’t need to attend the meetings.  If I try and attempt getting into London again on the tube it means the hassle of trying to make sure I can remain safe and not get lost if there are changes to trains etc. again my hearing loss presents a problem with this. When asking its really hard for me to follow people. I try and rely on my phone for information using different apps but this doesn’t work on the tube leaving me very isolated.  Scope where working with my employer to help me within my work and offered to find out about a buddy system for me at work. This would allow someone to come with me and help me with my confidence and sort out any problems like finding somewhere to sit down on tube or asking for help, this was rejected by my employer saying that they may as well employ my work buddy to do my job.  This attitude has left me feeling I need to hide my disability as much as possible from my employer. 

Hiding my disability from public view presents more problems. I have ditched my walking sticks and started to use a back brace to support myself when walking. this is a little harder for me but it keeps my pain levels down when I get home in the evening. the problems it presents is now when I get out of my car after parking in a disabled parking bay people can not see me as being a disabled person and I have found I get questioned more. I am worried that I going to get reported to the DWP as they have me registered as wheelchair user and its often now I can not use it when I am out. it means I am now in constant pain but this is hard for people to see. I Really do struggle to get out of my car if I can not open the doors completely open. by not using my walking sticks or wheelchair people judge me as been a benefit cheat and not entitled to use a mobility car. if I use my wheelchair or sticks the abuse just carries on both from the public and my work and I am stopped from doing things that I know I can do just given a little more time. 

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